Have I ever said how I think it’s so funny how life turns out? No? Well, I think it’s so funny how life turns out. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I feel the need to explain myself just so it doesn’t look like a totally unrelated way to start this post.
Two weeks ago was the absolute worst for me. I mean, if you ever see three posts in a week, that means there is three times as much anger in my soul than I should ideally harbour. I have never in my life felt so much pain, anger, confusion and ultimately, regret. It really does bother me that I’ve been throwing about this regret word lately but hopefully it ends here. Now the funny part is in the midst of all this negativity, I got so many views, it was unreal. I’m really grateful for that. I’m also so excited about my 100 posts mark and even though that has passed, I’ll put a little collage of the unfinished piece I meant to post down below.
So, we’ve established that your worst week would simultaneously be your best week. What next? Well, I learnt three things that week that I would always carry around with me.
1) Forgiveness is for myself.
I’m pretty sure you’ve heard this so many times. I had too but I never really thought much about it. It’s easy to forgive someone who bites your pen cover or forgets to shut the fridge properly or spreads false information about you. All these things seem petty and irrelevant but it’s the petty things that annoy us the most because c’mon, they really didn’t have to. Now, it’s a completely different level of forgiveness when it involves somebody who wants you to trust them but continuously betrays you, each time a bit worse than the previous. That, I couldn’t do.
For a long time I nurtured hate inside of me. If you’re anything like me, you never forget. So, every conversation, every text, every body language and every side comment would remain in my head just waiting for the right time to use my ammunition. But the truth is at the end of the day, I’ll be the only angry person. The only person with a burden to carry. Only my heart would beat fast while hatred would gradually rise to an abominable level but worst of all, it is only my prayers that wouldn’t be answered. I mean why would God forgive me when I cannot forgive another man 70×7 times?
I used to think forgiveness was synonymous to weakness until I heard someone say ‘I will forgive you but you will never be able to do the same thing to me twice’ then I thought woah. Ultimately, we’re required to forgive and forget and that’s exactly what I have decided to practise. I’ll forgive your offences as quick as you offend me and forget your shortcomings right before I forget your spot in my life.
2) Positivity is everything.
I wish I could explain this but I can’t. Right before my worst week’s incident, I felt such a huge wave of positivity in my spirit, nothing could bother me. It didn’t matter how big or small the problem was, my optimism could conquer it. I’m so happy I’ve found a way to revert back to a few weeks ago. I cannot imagine walking through life with so much negativity for the next few decades. Sometimes I sit and smile because I don’t think anyone else understands how ultimately blessed and at peace I feel.
I’m just going to drop a bible verse because I can’t explain further (Philippians 4:7)
3) This too shall pass 💜
Anyway, this isn’t a major point but I took a week away from all the negativity and decided to get a new identity. So, below is Ariana Walters. She’s a young lady who lives in Newyork and is currently working on putting together a portfolio in order to break into the modelling career. Now, Ariana is quite lucky because she shares a flat with her support system who doubles up as the love of her life and he’s always there 100% of the way. Wow that was really easy..
Life is beautiful