I’m Laughing Now.

I can’t help but laugh
At those who ridiculed the person that I was
And the woman that I had grown to become
Who tried to change me
Cut and paste traits unique to me
Like I was just words on a piece of paper waiting to be edited, reviewed and approved by individuals who didn’t deserve to experience the joy that I radiate
Or deserve to admire the art that I create.

I laugh because I see these same people go through life
Looking for pieces of me that they had tried to cut out
In every girlfriend, every partner, every potential wife
Like the world was populated with varying versions of me
And our sole purpose was to be attracted to a caliber of men who never learned how to love us genuinely.

I am deeply humoured
But my heart bleeds
For the women who would never live up to my standards
Because as beautiful as you are, you would never look like me
And you too are brilliant but, you would never have wit like mine
Never ever would you speak with the same rhythm
Or laugh out loud and think damn I sound just like her
Your touch would never be reminiscent of mine
And when you move, our silhouettes would never be superimposed. 

I am hurt because you would have to pass through the same hell that I did
And experience the same pain that I did
You too would be ridiculed and forced to conform
To rules that you don’t live by in the name of love
I just pray that you grow to believe that are enough
You are beautiful, you are strong
You are as perfect and as whole as you need to be for the one who is deserving
Most of all, I pray you make it out alive. 



Ask Yourself.

When was the last time you smiled?
Without holding back tears
Without blocking out empty threats
When was the last time you genuinely laughed?

How long has it been since you felt at peace?
Talked with hushed voices,
Stopped dwelling on your wrong choices
How long since you opened your eyes to clearly see?

Do you remember what it feels like to breathe?
So accustomed to your lungs collapsing
It’s those hands wrapped angrily around your neck, you’re choking
Do you understand that you’re finally free?