Confession Tapes.

Today and only today,
I agree, I’m choosing to explore,
What it’s like to feel the tremors and do it anyway.
I’m willing to make room for more.

Tonight and only tonight,
I’ll confess, I’m scared.
It’s true that I’ll voluntarily fight,
For a connection that remains undeclared.

This moment and only in this moment,
I’ll admit that I waltz around the concept of fate,
Being the single unifying component.
As I pop my ego and watch it deflate.

A.

Just Afraid.

You try to be the best I’ve ever had,
But that doesn’t take much effort.
You don’t know that,
And I’ll never mention it.
Not my experience with abuse,
Not the insecurities bound to oxygen, flowing through my veins.
I’m afraid you’ll be inspired,
Afraid you’d come up with new methods of breaking my heart,
Tearing me down,
Stripping me of my self worth.
Like I’ve had with those that came before,
Like I’m used to.

A.