It’s Wednesday night and I need you
Not in the way that husbands need their wives
Or in the way that a pilot needs his air crew
I need you to make sure I stay alive.
While you lay your lips on mine
After a few glasses of chocolate flavoured wine
I need you to look deep into my eyes
Only to make sure my soul isn’t anticipating the day that it dies.
In between taking off my shirt
And sliding my draws to the side underneath my mini skirt
I need you to check for self harm scars
Only to lecture me on the pain others would go through trying to write my memoirs.
After we’re both weak from breathtaking trembles
And you lay next to this body that was once a temple
I need you to move away if I ever try to hold on to you like I was holding on to life
Only to reiterate that just like me, you will never need me like a husband needs his wife.
I need you like I need to get over my situation
But most of all,
I need you to make sure I survive
That I don’t reach for a knife
Or threaten to take my own life
I. Need. You.
A.