Solitude doesn’t ask what’s wrong,
She lets me be.
She doesn’t reach out,
Or hold me when I’m down.
When emotions get the better of me,
And I’m left in a puddle of my never ending tears,
I don’t feel solitude looking at me through pitiful eyes.
She doesn’t pat my back like they do with helpless kids.
There are no constant echos of generic words intended to encourage,
No tight hugs rendering me fragile.
So I don’t feel shame,
Not like I do in her absence.
But my solitude eats me up,
More often that I care to admit.
I close my eyes so my body can feel,
Shut my heart so my mind can process,
Bitter truths my stomach cannot digest.
If this wasn’t me, it would be someone else,
Somewhere else, maybe something else.
So I draw the blinds shut and kill the switches,
It’s impossible to think while engulfing all these inches.
I’ll try again tomorrow
Not when I’m out and you’re in
If I’m not successful without him.
Empty bed all night
He’s snuck out to meet you
Why should I fight?
Now I’ve got space for two.
Home from work
Your cheap cologne in the air
Frightened cause I don’t give a fuck
But your smell is my burden to bear.
Walking on eggshells
To pick up your calls
His eyes filled with fear
Especially when we are at the mall.
He’s leaving me
Your greatest achievement
But you’ll always only be
His second placement.
He said he loves you
He told me that too
How many others
Do you think he’s said that to?
He’s all yours
If he’s stupid enough to go
But please be cautious
He’ll do this to you also.
But this wasn’t even a competition
You can have everything
Including his lying and cheating obsession.