Hello beautiful people!
How is everyone doing? How’s work going? School? Business blooming huh? That’s great! I’m happy that you’re happy. Really, I am.
Usually I start off my non fictional posts with a cool ass story so, it’s only right I follow tradition right? Well, first off, Happy New Year! It’s been a whole week already and I’m assuming some resolution have been broken. I for one told myself I’d be back at the gym but I’m now convincing myself that being a size 10 ain’t all that bad. So, it’s me and you both darling…me and you both.
I don’t actually look at the new year as a pivotal point in my life. I don’t necessarily subscribe to this ‘new year, new me’ movement because I see everyday as an opportunity to do better and be better. Also, my birthday’s towards the end of November and that’s really when I reflect on my past year and identify aspects of my life that I love and other parts that I’d much rather change and so, the new year seems less significant being so close to my ultimate month of reflection.
Apart from it being my birthday in November, my brain child turned 5 years old the same month and I did a little dance in front of my mirror when I saw the notifications. I hope I’m not the only one who full on creates choreography in front of their mirror every now and again just because life is beautiful. Anyway, this is my baby so each year, I experience a different type of joy seeing my blog grow because I know it’s also a representation of my personal growth.
Now that my cool story is out of the way, I’m going to highlight three things I learnt in 2017 that were crucial to my personal growth and so, might be useful to you.
1. You need company.
Majority of people in the world think they can go through life independently. I used to be one of those people and it wasn’t until last year that I realised being a one-man island is not feasible when you’re in survival mode. As cheerful and full of life as I appear to be, there had been so many days in 2017 where it felt like my whole life was falling apart because, it really was. On these days I had two options; I could either sit in bed and wail like that would solve all of my life problems or, surround myself with people who made me laugh till my belly hurt. Of course I constantly chose the latter because life is too short to be upset and I didn’t gain anything from depriving myself of human interaction.
Company to me doesn’t always mean physically being around people. Sometimes, it’s just a phone call, a snapchat video, being sent a funny ass tweet or simply knowing your friends are there if you ever needed them. So each time my friends asked me to hang out, I’d say “no” lol because I was way too weak to fake a smile amidst everything that was going on in my head. BUT, I found solace in knowing that there were people there to rant about my problems if I was ever in the mood to share.
I feel like I could write a whole new post about how much support I’ve gotten from my friends and friend adjacent this year. From random check up calls to sending me bible passages intended on giving me hope to ensuring there was always turnup to take my mind off things lol y’all are cute af. While I’ll never be the type of person to call and pour my heart out or talk about my feelings, I do appreciate being reminded that if I ever wanted to, they’d be there. Cutiessss.
2. I am strong as fuck!
Yes, I am shouting. If you don’t like it, this would be a good time to close this tab.
Everything that I have endured and been put through in the past few years of my life had been stored away at the back of my head. That’s where all of my suppressed memories go because my coping mechanism usually entails “forgetting” the situation and moving on like nothing happened. Although, last year, I forced myself to sort through all of these forgotten memories so I could truly be on my road to redemption. This was probably the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do because it not only involved remembering but, I also had to analyse in order to figure out how I got there and device a way to forever avoid being in that particular situation. Most of all, I had to learn to forgive myself over and over again with each memory that was unveiled. If I could quantify pain, I’d say that was definitely an 11 out of 10.
The reason I say I am strong af is due to the fact that I would go through the process daily and still manage to beat the hell out of my face and walk out the door with a huge ass smile on my face because even though life used to be scraps, it wasn’t anymore and I was genuinely happy with my current situation. Also because for the first time in my life, I didn’t just force myself to remember but I was strong enough to share my experiences to an extent with almost anybody who asked. This is not to dwell on the negative but to encourage people. My point was always hey, look at where I was for a long time and look at where I am now, if I can do it then, you can and you will once you channel your inner strength. One day I’m going to be empowering women all over the world to be warriors and not the weaker sex. I can feel it, can you?
If only my physical strength was as strong as my emotional/mental strength, I would have the abs I want right now.
3. Jesus is Lord
My words fail me every time I attempt to explain what God did in my life last year so you’ll just have to take it from me when I say God is so amazing in every way possible. I honestly feel like Jesus looked at me towards the end of 2016 through all of my self loathing and disbelieve and said sis, I am about to show off with you. It was such a gradual process because at first He started to rid me of all forms of attachment I had to people and situations which hindered any sort of growth in my life. After that, I was able to explore and understand His love for me which in turn allowed me to begin to love myself. I mean, if Jesus loves me, I must be pretty darn special so, I better love me too. Then my skin started clearing and I started glowing (Thank you Jesus). Now I’m 22 with a distinction in my masters and a PhD on the way I mean, come on Jesus, now you’re just showing off. It’s so surreal every time I think about it and 2017 would always be special to me because everything I had been praying for through the years happened in succession and all just under a year. I think it’s time to start praying for that £60billion I always talk about.
It really has been one hell of a year for me and my greatest joy comes from knowing that this time last year, I wasn’t even half the woman I am now.