This was supposed to be a ‘Find me, Love me, Marry me’ trilogy which I planned on writing four years ago (here). How I completely neglected this for that long is beyond me. Maybe I’d wait another 4 years to write the last part. Anyway, here it goes…
Love Me!
I know that I am difficult
And sometimes rude.
I am fierce, strong
And my anger, not easily subdued.
My mind is quick to conclude
And I’m uncomfortable each time you step into my place of solitude.
But I want you to love me
So I can be free.
I am not an easy person to want
Not with this attitude, so nonchalant.
I’ve grown so accustomed to putting up a front
So I can not bring you comfort.
Not in the way that makes you impatient
Not in the way that makes you complacent.
But I want you to love me
Like I was pure, like I was innocent.
I will constantly push you away
And fight to keep queer feelings at bay.
Reluctantly, I find serenity your company
Your smell, your taste
Unsettling but weirdly satisfying embrace.
But this is becoming familiar territory
So I want you to love me
Abundantly.
I have nothing to offer
Except this thick skin, this impermeable heart.
But even these set me apart
Because on the days where you feel weak and lost at sea,
I know I would be strong for you and me.
So even though I may be difficult and sometimes rude,
You better find a way to love me
In the best way that you could.
Love,
Me
X
Akunna Ezekwem 