The Blurry Future.

I’ve changed my mind and I don’t know if it’s right
My future is beginning to look like an abstract painting
With no definite outline
No ultimate description
Just a few ideas and the whole world claiming to have an opinion
I was so sure
Not bothered a bit about the inescapable pressure
It was either this or nothing
No maybe’s, no what if’s
No trying and no falling
It’s a year too late
But my life, I have to reevaluate
Weigh my options
Pros and cons,
Yays and nays
Advantages and disadvantages
A few months too late and I haven’t made my choice
Unwilling to let go of my previous ‘dream’
What would the world say?
“She gave up. She wasn’t determined. She wasn’t focused. She lacked the necessary qualities. She just wasn’t smart enough”
I need to ignore the world and do what I want, just this once
I’m confused and just plain sad
The solid pillars which once supported my faith are shaking
That’s not what I want but there’s naught I can do
I only pray that someone out there can convince me to believe that I’ll make it through

(No time for proper punctuation)

Love,
A
X