Category: Poetry

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Today. 

This wasn’t like every other day
The silence sounded different
Like a knife piercing through these eardrums
It burns because for the first time in years
There’s something selfless for me to say
Me to convey
Me to show
Me.

This wasn’t like every other day
The empty space felt different
And these sheets, so cold, I’m shivering 
Begging for the warmth to stay
Silently praying for you to explain
You to convince
You to profess
You.

This wasn’t like every other day
The sun shone different
And the wind blew in reverse
The clouds smiled down at me
Like it was waiting for us to converse
Us to interact
Us to exist
Us.

Love,
A
X

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My Kind Of Love.

My kind of love doesn’t live in happy places
Nor in the hearts of happy people
Nor in the 4 corners of a happy home
It grows out in the dark trenches
Spreads across these bloody battle fields
It’s the kind found in the hearts of hard wired soldiers.

My kind of love only occupies a place of emptiness
A grieving widow in the hands of her in laws
A hurting wife at the mercy of her husbands’ infidelity
These young couples, more toxic than poison
It’s not the type of love that’s promised till infinity.

My kind of love doesn’t reside in the hearts of misogynists
Or in the cracks present in masculinity, all so fragile
It cannot coexist with lack of equality
Or a sense of entitlement due to mere ethnicity
It’s the kind of love that may never exist.

Love,
A
X

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Don’t Tell Them.

They don’t want to know what you do to subside the anger

The methods you employ to heal your brokenness

Self medicate your mental illness

You’re just another lonely girl, doesn’t mean you’re harmless

This emptiness, this void

These overpowering emotions you tried your best to avoid

They continue to grow, to manifest

To disrupt your peaceful night’s rest

They will never know your alternative remedy for loneliness

Your coping mechanisms for this sense of loss,

This sense of absence

They may ask but, they don’t really want to know

So don’t tell them.

Love,
A
X

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Five Senses.

I felt your chest rise
It was faint, tired
One desperate beat at a time
Holding on to life,
Struggling to survive.

I tasted your tears
Concentrated with sharp crystals of pain
One heart breaking drop after the next
It’s your side of the bed but I can’t help noticing the dampness
A representation of the burden that you bear.

I saw your soul
A strong force emanating from within
It’s survival’s strength
Shutting me out, shutting you in
It’s not love if you’re kept at arms length.

I heard your cries
A result of your silent sufferings
Locked away from prying eyes
Covered up with your best disguise
It is clear that you’re struggling.

I smelt your fear
Like an aroma drawing in darkness
Attracting the wicked
Bringing forth the heartless
Let go of your hate and things will be clear.

Love,
A
X

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Doesn’t Make Sense Now.

Your heart will beat
Your blood vessels will throb
While writing each new line of poetry
Extending moments of long forgotten memory.

Your body may tremble
Your breathing may stop
While your eyes bleed out colourless blood
While your heart sheds red tears through uneven cracks.

Your reactions are queer
It’s not just poetry
It’s moments you’ve prevailed
Challenges you’ve faced
Circumstances you’ve been forced to overcome
This is your interpretation of poetry
It’s not supposed to make sense right now
It’s not supposed to make sense at all.

Love,
A
x

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Love Is Never Enough. 

He hides in corners compiling secrets
Ensuring that you remain a foreigner
His ploy to keep you out
While locking you in
But he says that he loves you
And you want to believe. 

He is present at meetings
Coughing up edited facts about you
Anything to build him up
While knocking you down
But he says that he loves you
And you want to believe. 

He speaks to you in a way that disrespects
A way that does not glorify
A way that fails to uplift
No remorse, not an ounce of fear
But he says that he loves you
And you want to believe. 

He silently studies you
Making mental notes of your insecurities
Only for leverage, to establish a sense of superiority
At the expense of your self confidence
But he says that he loves you
And you want to believe. 

He says he could never be in love with you
Not today, not tomorrow
‘Maybe when we get married’
‘Maybe after we have kids’
But he still swears that he loves you
And you know damn well
That love is never enough.

Love,
A
X

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3AM.

I can only love you at 3am…

When my body longs,
And my soul is empty.
When I revisit my wrongs,
And my heart is heavy.

These times where I reminisce,
About reckless raunchy rendezvous.
These times where I silently search,
For statements sounding somewhat sentimental.

Because my imagination runs wild,
And my concerns are temporarily exiled.
Because I’m low on pragmatism,
And high on optimism.

The hour where my body begins to fall asleep,
But my spirit fights because it’s almost day.
The hour where I subconsciously wonder,
At what time of the day do you say
‘Wow I think I just might love her’?

Love,
A
X

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Holy War.

Go ye therefore and heal all nations,
With love, hope and faith combined.

Make words of affirmation the ultimate medication,
For weak spirits, for feeble minds.

While condemnation becomes the ultimate jurisdiction,
Mutual faith really is the purest of its kind.

I have all I need but is it okay if I asked for more?
Like a sense of peace, a lack of worry,
Or a place to die and end this holy war.

Love,
A
x

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Ask Yourself.

When was the last time you smiled?
Without holding back tears
Without blocking out empty threats
When was the last time you genuinely laughed?

How long has it been since you felt at peace?
Talked with hushed voices,
Stopped dwelling on your wrong choices
How long since you opened your eyes to clearly see?

Do you remember what it feels like to breathe?
So accustomed to your lungs collapsing
It’s those hands wrapped angrily around your neck, you’re choking
Do you understand that you’re finally free?

Love,
A
X

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