10 Day Me Challenge..Superwoman Version.

Hey lovies,

Guess who’s back back back…back again gain gain..Yes you got it! I’m back! Let’s just imagine you’re all so excited to see me back again on WordPress. I’m actually excited to put words on paper..Words on paper? Well you understand what I mean. It just feels like I’m back home, in my imaginary world, on my blog, with my amazing readers.

So it only seems fair that I explain the reason for my absence. I mean, that’s how it usually works right? Well, firstly, I’ve had the longest most stressful exam period this January and all I can say is..Jesus gat me. So exams were over on the 29th and I thought whoop one week holiday till the start of school, this is going to be fun. Little did I know that it would be the worst week ever. Why is this the worst week? Only because I received ‘Ella’ from yet another company and I’m starting to believe that God has kept my multimillionbilliontrillionaire somewhere in the corner waiting for me to find him seeing as getting a job is looking beyond possible. So this might be a good thing in the long run. Also because the word ‘betrayal’ has gone from being a random word in the dictionary to becoming my reality and, I’ve just really lost the will to write buttttt you don’t care about my week do you? No? Woah I was hoping you’d say yes.

Anyway, Happy New Year everybody!!! I hope your year is going a lot better than mine. I’m going to jump right into the 10 day challenge only I’d do it in one post because I think I’m super woman. Soooooo..

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10 Secrets

They wouldn’t be secrets once I tell you so I really can’t answer this question.

9 Loves

1) My Creator – My everything.

2) Food – I’d like to give a huge ‘shala’ to my main chick; food. She’s always there for me in literally different forms. Eg: green tea and broccoli when I feel like lying to myself about how healthy I am. Popcorn, cake and ice cream on my miserable ‘I’m so sad I’m going to ingest high carbs’ days. Garri and soup on the days when I’m motivated to be thick. I love you side chick.

3) My Family – No Comment.

4) My Friends – My Blessings. I keep trying to explain how I feel about my friends…my real friends but, I could never put it in actual words.

5) Music – This has to be the root of my dramatic nature. I love the diversity, the lyrics, the emotions, the stories behind. Music is like food to my soul guys.

6) Poetry – This is practically the same as music only I think poetry is more creative and subject to multiple interpretations. It’s brilliant. Like music without the tunes but a whole lot of soul, a whole lot of rhythm.

7) Makeup – Watch me go from geeky blogger to Beyoncé real quick. I’m especially obsessed with eyeshadow but it sucks because I have no eyelids AKA Chinese eyes ‘eyes Chinese though we smoking sour diesel

8) Love – Can I love love? Or maybe the idea of it. I love love and everything that follows; both good and bad. Yes yes I’m a hopeless romantic.

9) Beautiful messages – I typed beautiful but I really meant cute. You know the feeling you get when someone sends an unexpected cute message or you wake up to a cute message? The one that starts warm in your belly then spreads to your heart before going to your brain? Yes, the one that keeps you smiling for hours. It’s just amazing but in a calm way.

8 Fears

1) Me – Anyone else have moments where they surprise themselves? Yh I’ve got that too..a bit too often as we. For this reason I’m just scared that I might do or think or say something that may be beyond absurd.

2) Rejection – This is funny because I’ve been rejected three times this school year so the saying ‘what you are most afraid of would happen to you’ actually holds water.

3) Failure – With failure comes rejection so, I feel like this had to follow next. Also, nobody wants to look back at their lives at 40 and think about how big of a failure they are. I am absolutely terrified of failing at school, in life, in relationships etc

4) Regret – This might actually be my biggest fear mostly because regret is a permanent thing since we can’t go back and change things. It’s so scary to imagine looking back on a particular situation and regretting it for the rest of my life. That’s why more often than none, I think twice then two times more and another 200 times after that before making decisions.

5) Dogs – Even though I’ve got 5 dogs at home and at some point we had 2 + 10 puppies, I would always hate dogs.

6) I’m afraid of growing up too fast because I might miss experiences or adventures or feelings that could only be observed among the young at heart.

7) I can’t decide if I’m more scared of being a pain in the ass wife or a pain in the ass mother. Hopefully, I’m neither in the future. Either way. I’m scared of getting into a marriage that doesn’t have its foundations rooted in the word of God.

8) I’m afraid of making plans. It takes time and effort and passion and a lot of thinking to draw up a plan. A plan for your life, a plan for a weekend getaway, a plan for a conversation etc. So there’s very few things more frustrating than not having thing work out and constantly changing your plans to fit around the reality you’re faced with. Now I just go where life takes me. Ofcourse I have vision but I’ve given up on the plan idea.

7 Wants

1) I want to wake up in a new Bugatti.

2) I want to be happy and have everyone I care about to be even happier.

3) I want Greggs’ chicken bake and white chocolate cookies delivered to me for free every other day.

4) I want free makeup for no good reason.

5) I want a bottomless debit card. That doesn’t make sense but basically, I never want to run out of money.

6) I want to be the queen of my empire and that’s funny because of the next point.

7) I want to rent an apartment on the corner of a busy street in New York. Waking up to a beautiful view and the smell of coffee emanating from the Starbucks shop a few floors below. I want canvases and paint brushes and a loose bun, loose tank top, a high bench positioned right in front of my window so I could view the landscape in search of new inspiration for my next masterpiece. I want art.

6 Places

1) My bed – Forever comfortable.

2) New York – I’ve watched too many movies, I feel like this city would be home for me in my next life.

3) Spain

4) Paris – Parce que je voudrais voir enfin la ville de l’amour. To be completely honest, back in 2010 I conquered my extended French paper and I suddenly believed I could speak French. Now if I could speak French, why would I settle down with some Yoruba/Igbo speaking pot bellied man? I was going to run to Paris and find the love of my life so we could have little French babies and speak French forever malheureusement, je avais torte. Mais, my google translate game is still on point.

5) London – Only because I like the way ‘London Town’ sounds.

6) Bora bora – Honeymoon baby!

5 Foods

Rice

Rice

Rice

Maybe gala

And rice

4 Books

I’ve read too many to remember so I’ll just list 4 authors.

Jackie Collins

James Patterson

Sydney Sheldon

Ted Dekker

3 Films

Kingsman

The Notebook

The Vow

2 Songs

I’m going to cheat a little in this section. Mostly because the first video is really two songs but it’s one video so surely it must be allowed.

1 Picture of Yourself 

So this is the part where I put up a really attractive selfie. I thought of doing that but, my brain interpreted this in a different way. So, allow me to be queer and say that each time I look in the mirror, I seldom see the face of the girl in my selfies. I hardly see eyes or lips not to mention my nonexistent hips. What I see is a whirlwind of qualities, characteristics, past experiences and opportunities yet to be uncovered. It all looks like a random mix of attributes now but each day, I see distinct qualities that would definitely lead me to a successful future. So what exactly would a picture of this ‘me’ look like? It’s down below.

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That’s it guys 🙂

Love,

A

x

Day 7. My Zodiac Sign And Me.

Woahhhh there horsey! This was supposed to be a 30 day challenge but somehow, I’m still on day 7 although I started this in January 2013. Am I lazy or what?

Today’s about what I think my zodiac sign says about me. I actually have a picture to show you. It’s such a random thing to see lying around but both my parents are Sagittarius so, I’ll assume they got this to represent them both in some weird way. See the thing is, everything on here is more or less a compliment and I don’t understand how only positive things could be said about a large group of individuals born in a certain time period. A lot of the words could describe me and plenty other people who may be Cancer or Scorpio or anything that isn’t Sagittarius. I just don’t believe in astrology so, not a lot can be said about this.

On a positive note, we could all sit and admire this old vintagey beat up piece of decoration. It’s hard to come by these now.

Love
Sagittarius A
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100 Truths.

Hi my lovies,

So I’m currently listening to Whisky Lullaby which is so far the deepest song I’ve heard this year hence, my best song yet. My best song is probably of no interest to anyone but at least, that’s one thing you know about me, A. Talking about things you know about me, I came across 100 truths on my baby girl’s blog and it seemed like a nice thing to do for myself while i come up with another emo post for my lovely readers. I’m going to assume my lovely readers have missed seeing my all so amazing posts and summarize my reasons for abandoning my blog for so long. Lately, writing has been one of the most difficult things to do. I had exams to study for, a nonexistent social life to sort out, a relationship to possibly terminate and my spiritual life to revive. So, my mind has been too busy to think of anything miserable to write. Although my posts give cause for people to believe that my life has been conquered by depression, I’m usually overjoyed or at least remotely happy when I write my posts. So, writing in a depressed state doesn’t really work for me. Anywayyyyy…

100 truths

Last beverage – Capri Sonne (if this is considered a beverage)
Last phone call – Nana Skye
Last text message – Tomi
Last song you listened to – Whisky Lullaby- Brad Paisley and Alison Krauss
Last time you cried – I wish I could say ‘last year’ but, a few days ago

️Have you ever
Dated someone twice – Nope
Been cheated on – Quite uncertain about this one
Kissed someone – Yes
Lost someone special – Too  many times
Been depressed – Not particularly
Been drunk and threw up – Nope

Favourite colours – Purple and Black

Have you
Made new friends – Depends on how you choose to define the word ‘friend’
Fallen out of love – Haven’t fallen in love to start with
Laughed until I cried – Yes
Met someone who changed you – Said person influenced my views on life experiences in general. My values and priorities included and, maybe, that changed the person that I was.
Found out who your true friends were – You can never be completely sure about things like this but, I believe so
Kissed someone on your friend’s list – Don’t know what this means
How many people on your friend’s list do you know in real life – same as above
Do you have any pets – 5/6 dogs that I’m afraid of
Do you want to change your name – Nope
What did you do for your birthday – Clubbing with the amazing group of people that I call my friends + I went for a dreamboys show in London with my girlfriends

What time did you wake up today – 7 am…had a paper at 9
What were you doing at midnight last night – Attempting to cram all the enzymes involved in photosynthesis and respiration

Name something you cannot wait for – I can’t choose between finally becoming a surgeon and finally being sure of the person I’ll spend forever with
Last time you saw your father – On the 9th of January
What is be thing you wish you could change about your life – My inability to be satisfied(I always think of how much better things concerning me could be)
What are you listening to right now – With you – Chris Brown
Have you ever talked to a person named Tom – Nope
What’s getting on your nerves right now – My lack of talent in the vocals sector
Most visited webpage – sheffield.ac.uk / iroko.com / whatever new link 1channel has now

Facts
What’s your name – A.
Nicknames – Akusweets
Relationship status – In a relationship with my bestfriend and the love of my life
Zodiac Sign – Sagittarius
High School – Lekki British International High School
College/University: The University of Sheffield

Hair Colour – Black
Long/medium/short – Short
Height – 5″7 (I dont actually know tbh, but, that sounds tall enough)
Do you have a crush on someone – Lol
What do you like about yourself – The things that my mind conceives
Home town – PortHarcourt
Tattoos- Nope
Righty or lefty- Righty

Firsts
First surgery – None
First relationship – 18
First best friends – Hmm
First sport you joined – Basketball
First pet – My baby ‘trixxie’ who was actually a male dog despite his name
First vacation – England
First concert – Never been to one
First crush – Biology

Right Now
Eating – Nothing
Drinking – Wonderful natural enzyme solution
Already missing – My carefree years
I’m about to – Look for food to ingest
Listening to – Tshirt- Shontelle
Thinking about – How to surprise my baby on the 14th of February
Waiting for – a miracle

️Your Future
Want kids – 4 beautiful and blessed kids
Want to get married – To my bestfriend
Careers in mind – Surgeon

️What you prefer in the opposite sex
Lips or eyes? – Eyes
Hugs or kisses – Both
Shorter or taller – Way taller
Older or younger –Older

Romantic or spontaneous- Both
Nice stomach or nice arms –Nice character over all
Sensitive or loud –Sensitive but, willing to be loud if need be
Hook-up or relationship – Relationship
Troublemaker or hesitant – A bit of both

Have you ever
Drank hard liquor – Yes
Lost glasses/ contacts –Nope
Had sex on 1st date – Nope
Broken someone’s heart – Lol apparently, I have
Had your heart broken – Lol it’s not so much about being heartbroken but, about being angry at somebody that I believe I love
Been arrested – Nope
Turned someone down – Lol more times that deserve
Cried when someone died – Yes
Liked a friend that’s of the same sex – Nope

Do you believe in
Yourself – Not in the slightest way
Miracles – Yes
Love at first sight- Love is a new concept that I’m still trying to grasp so, maybe attraction at first sight but, definitely not love
Heaven – Yes
Santa Claus – Nigerian parents can’t let this happen
Kiss on the first date – Depends on the person
Angels – Yes

Is there one person you want to be with right now – Nope
Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend – hmm
Wish you could change things in the past – No, it’s because of my past that I have become the person that I am now and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way
Are you posting this as 100 truths – Yes

Love,

A

x

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Day 6. 30 ‘Interesting’ facts about me.

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This is going to be so hard to do because, I doubt there’s anything interesting about me. But, here we goooo

1) My name is Akunna and I’m not Kenyan or south African or anything that isn’t Nigerian.

2) I used to be left handed but my grandma thought it was devilish so, she forced me to change. Bless her x.

3) I laugh like a retard and I ain’t even proud.

4) I had virgin lips up until November last year lmao.

5) I have never had a boyfriend before. Things like that just don’t appeal to me.

6) I have so many fears including Chiraptophobia, Coprastasophobia, Cynophobia, Katsaridaphobia, Trypanophobia, Philemaphobia, etc.

7) I happen to hate almost everything in the world; Animals, girls, most foods, most fruits, vegetables, almost every colour. It’s weird really.

8) I am an Igbo girl that speaks Yoruba, French and English. I can even speak more Cantonese than Igbo. I understand though.

9) I grew up with boys so, I can beat you up and this whole acting girly thing is a mystery to me.

10) I’m the least emotional person in the world even though my blog says otherwise. I’m just dramatic.

11) I believe in inner beauty because even though it doesn’t shine as bright as outer beauty, it’s the only kind of beauty that isn’t constrained to the eyes of the beholder.

12) I hate chocolate with a passion.

13) I almost killed myself when I was 5/6. Probably why I’m so grateful for my life.

14) I have a very creative/imaginative mind. This is terrible because, It takes me just over a second for my mind to wander off. In other words,I’m like a movie director in my head and, my blog is like the script. Careful enough to make sense out of it but, not to tell the complete story.

15) I don’t understand myself so, you could never understand me.

16) I can only write down the words that describe how I feel because they are words that my lips are afraid to utter.

17) I open my bag of crisps from the bottom just to prove different.

18) Orange juice turns me on lol. So does plain Madeira cake, vanilla ice cream and a certain dark skinned boy 😉

19) My bestfriend is a million miles away but still one if the two closest souls to my heart.

20) I have a big, fat, obese cruuuuuuuuuush on Mr Emzz iyfuyrdterdyughhoiuy haha.

21) I’m a feelings catcher. Someone could say ‘hi’ to me and I’ll start catching feelings. Or ‘you’re so awkward’ and I’ll start catching feelings. It’s ridiculous really.

22) I love Westlife with all of my heart. Their music speaks to my soul and it’s amazing. Does that make me gay?:(

23) Once upon a time, I was a dancer + I was on every single sports team. Football, athletics, volley ball, swimming, rounders etc. but now, I’m lazy AF. Still a skinny lady though

24) I don’t know how to compliment people and I don’t know how to believe people when they compliment me. To me, it’s either flattery or sarcasm.

25) I left highschool at 14

26) I love the color purple with all of my heart but, you’ll never catch me in a purple dress.

27) I love love love reading. It’s hard to believe cause I don’t have a wide range of vocabulary. Ted Dekker is the love of my life.

28) I am boring and not a tiny bit funny but somehow, the people around me seem to think otherwise.

29) I want to be a neurosurgeon.

30) I’m a strong woman in more ways than one so, I can deal with any form of physical pain without much effort. It’s the emotional pain that I fear I cannot handle hence, I block out my emotions.

Love,
Not so interesting A
X

Day 5. A time I thought about ending my own life.

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This is too deep. I’ve never actually thought of ending my life for two reasons
1) There may be so many things wrong with my life but, not everything is wrong. I like to focus on the positive parts of my life and stay grateful for them. It’s never about the negatives. +I’m just awesome. People would miss me if I took my life away. The world will mourn a great loss. Why would I do that to 7 billion people? I’m not that cruel.
2) I was brought up believing that I don’t own my life. That my soul belongs to God so, he’d take it when he wants. Killing myself would be a sin and that’ll put me on a straight train to hell. Mandems don’t want to burn in hell y’know.

Suicide is actually so extreme. I mean, even when I get minor cramps, I rummage through my things in frantic search for aspirin just so I don’t feel pain. Stabbing myself or hanging myself or taking drugs or jumping off a building is too much pain for me to bear. I could never.

A few months ago, during the lowest point of my life, I only ever considered not being there for a moment. Maybe a day or a week. Just taking a break from life. Running away. Sleeping for a week. I never even consider slipping into a coma for a few days talk less of completely ending my life.

My life is a beautiful gift which I received for free. I’ve got so many opportunities available to me. Loads of beautiful friends. An annoying family that brings drama to my life. People I care about and people that care about me. Lives to make a positive impact on and marks to make on the world. Also, my ‘Once Upon A Time’ love story is just about to begin. That’s enough for me to love my life and live cautiously and well as carefree until one day, I’m not here, on earth anymore.

Don’t ever think of ending your own life. It’s more important than the problems you’re going through.

Love
Far from suicidal A
X

Day 4. My views on religion.

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I actually had this conversation with my very special Mr Emzz a few weeks ago. Give me 5 minutes while I look through our chat so, I don’t end up saying the exact opposite of what I told him. See, Mr Emzz really is special to me and incase a spirit leads him to my blog(tufiakwa), I wouldn’t want him to read this post and think I’m a liar.

I can’t be asked to go through our chat, I was just typing dust there but, my thoughts about religion probably hasn’t changed in the past few weeks.

Like almost every other thing I say about myself, it may be hard to believe that I am a devoted Christian. I read my bible, my open heavens and pray. You’d hear me praying and be scared but like every other Christian, I sin in multiple ways. I’m not perfect so don’t judge me.

So, as I was saying, I’m Christian and, Christianity for me is a way of life rather than a religion. It’s about the things you say, the way you act, the things you do, how you treat the people around you and it’s accordance the word of God. All the word of God instructs us to do is to live noble and blameless lives. To treat everyone equally. To love and act out of love. You don’t have to be Christian to do any of the above. I cannot judge a human being based on their religion. I cannot judge a human being at all (Matthew 7:1) but, if given the right to, I’d judge people based on their lifestyle. I believe that a man is who they are based on the contents of their heart. Whether or not you have a religion is none of my business. I’d rather have pagans as friends than hypocrite Christians.

I was brought up in a Christian family. I always went to church early, was ever present in Sunday school, I would always contribute, memorise multiple passages from the bible, I was a devoted choir member even. Today, I’m not as committed as I was but, I’m still deep in the Christianity belief and I love to know that I could always depend on my creator. That’s what I grew up believing so, that’s who I have grown to become. That’s for me though and, it doesn’t have to be the same for everyone. I mean, being with Christians is cool ’cause we supposedly have the same views and beliefs and a similar way of life. There is however, conflict between the different branches of Christianity. The Reedeem people don’t believe praying through Mary will get you anywhere close to God. Catholics may not entertain the idea of singing and clapping in Gods’ presence. Deeper life despise the concept of having birthday parties. Mountain on fire are way too religious. Anglicans just seem in between. There’s just so much confusion and arguments between the various groups. Religion has become something close to a political debate. Christians are constantly trying to prove that their method of worship is the best. Am I supposed to support this?

The book of Proverbs compares two groups of people. The righteous men and the wicked men. It doesn’t say the men with religion and the men without religion. So, I looked up the meaning if righteous just to back me up here.

‘Morally right or justifiable’

I know the same bible says things like
“Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God” (John 3:3)
As well as
“Go ye therefore and teach all nations, baptising them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit’ (Matt 28:19)in other words, bring others to Christ and the likes of that. That’s for another post anyway. It also speaks about the fruit of the spirit which, as a Christian we should have. Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Humility and Self control. I know a lot of Christians including myself who don’t even posses all those qualities. How then do we deserve to feel superior to people with other beliefs when we don’t even practice what we believe in?

I haven’t been fortunate enough to come across a lot of Muslims in my life but, I know a number of noble Muslims. You’d look at them and wouldn’t be able to spot a single fault in them. In terms of the things they say and the way the act to people. They have a different belief to me but, they seem to have a similar way of life. My bestfriend is actually Muslim and aside from the fact that we have different religions, we always always have the same opinion about certain life issues and the possible solutions. It’s constant occurrences like this that makes me realize that the way people act has very little to do with their religion but rather, their beliefs, the things that they value or consider a priority as well as their virtues and what they deem morally right. Does it make sense for one to claim to only like Muslims and Christians? Shall they expand the love a bit and add ‘Hindus’ to the list?

I’m beginning to see the similarities between religion and political parties./Campaigns. Like different religious groups are trying to captivate the heart of the people by making promises and giving out suiveners. In Nigeria, they could be related to brooms and umbrellas(AKA h’umblera). They all speak of miracles and a change in one’s heart rending situation but, even the bible says ‘Heaven helps those who help themselves’. Religion isn’t going to help you get that job or that guy/girl or that degree. I hate how people are constantly looking for a way to classify the mass. Black and white. Tall and short. Fat and skinny. Virgins and non virgins. Christianity and Islam(I apologise if I haven’t mentioned your own religion. I only really know about two so, forgive my ignorance)

In summary, I think that religion is only important to those who have one. It’s encouraging to believe that an all knowing spirit is aware of your situation and is going to see you through it and elevate you. However, if you don’t believe then, you just don’t believe. Religion doesn’t define anyone. It’s about the things that they do and if one acts noble and isn’t deliberately froward then, nothing else matters.

Love
Nonjudgmental A
X

Day Three. My Views On Drugs And Alcohol.

Day Three. My Views On Drugs And Alcohol.

Drugs.

The hour of judgement is here. I don’t feel right talking about this for so many reasons but, I shall, I will, I must prevail.

As a doctor in the making, I feel the need to give a definition of drugs.

“A substance or other preparation used for the treatment or prevention of disease”

That definition looks too complicated, I didn’t even bother reading it. To me, drugs are anything that makes you feel better; medicinal or not. If weed makes you feel better then, weed is your drug. For me, love is my drug.

I don’t believe in judging people so, I can’t really say “Drugs are of the devil” or “Only agbero’s take drugs” or anything of that nature. I’m not a druggie, I refuse to venture into that side of life but at the same time, I don’t look down on people who do. We are not aware of why people take drugs or what they’re going through. They might be depressed or frustrated. Different people have different ways of dealing with their problems.

I hate to draw a conclusion about people based on one single action but rather on the underlying reason or their intentions. Meanwhile, is weed classified under drugs?(Not like anyone will answer that. Bless you shy readers). Drug use is only a problem to me when one is hooked on it. When it begins to mess with your brain. When professional help is needed.

I haven’t really done a good job giving my views on drugs but, all I have to say is that I don’t think it’s particularly wrong but at the same time, I can’t be friends with people that take drugs regularly. Neither can I be with someone that takes drugs.

Alcohol.

If you did secondary school chemistry, you will know that alcohol is nothing but a two carbon chain hydrocarbon with an ‘H’ group being replaced by an ‘OH’ functional group. I fail to see the harm in that. I mean both alpha and beta glucose have an ‘oh’ group on them. Then again, so does Benzene and that’s harmful. They have different structures so, as a biochemist, I shouldn’t really compare both of them.

I personally don’t have a problem with alcohol. I hear people constantly condemning others that drink or get drunk occasionally and, it makes me frown. I never frown so, that’s how bad it is. The world needs to understand that there is a difference between people who drink and alcoholics. For me, alcohol is….hmmm. I’m trying hard not to say anything that’ll jeopardize my future. Wouldn’t want any silly scandals later in life if I end up being famous.

Alcohol could be some people’s drug as it allows you to forget about the pain and the hurt and all of those rubbish emotions just for a while. That’s all some people need sometimes. You think people like the bitter taste of that shit? If I need vodka to have fun, get rid of my nerves and forget about my series of unfortunate events for one night then, vodka is what I will have. You can sit back and judge me all you want but, that would never make you a better person. There’s nothing wrong as long as you’re not a drunkard. Using our children’s school fees to buy scotch and Jägerbomb ? Nah br’uh.

Love,
Drinky Drinky A
X

Day two Where I’d like to be in 10 years..

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This is hard to answer to be honest. Now you would think that after having been through primary school, high school and alevels that, I would know, without doubt where I’d want to be 10 years from now. That is very far from the truth.

I used to know exactly what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it and how long it would take me to do it. The plan was to go to America, do a foundation year, get into uni for premed at 15, get into medschool, get out at 23, get married to my beautiful mixed race god at 25, have 8 children, live in a castle with my beautiful family and have a ‘happily ever after’ ending. Ho Ho Ho. I was mistaken. I ended up in England and, so many things went wrong. I’m still on the biochemistry-medicine route but…

I apologise for not finishing the last paragraph. I was afraid of getting too deep. Anyway, I’ve had to change my plans for the future so many times that, I’ve given up on making specific plans. I know what I want to be which is ‘happy’ but, where I want to be isn’t very clear to me. I think I’m scared of making plans and being so hopeful only for me to be disappointed…again.

Regardless, I’ll still write about where I’d be happy to be 10 years from now.

In ten years time, I trust that God will allow me to have been through with biochemistry and medicine. As well as my two years of foundation(internship). I also believe that as I’d be 28, I wouldn’t be as single and lonely as I am right now (I’m actually not lonely but..). I want to be married. Maybe not with kids but, with someone. I’d like to be a junior doctor training to be a neurosurgeon. I don’t care about where I live or where I work or how wide my social circle would be or who exactly it is that I’d be married to but, I just care about my career and how much I would have achieved for myself by then.

This is extremely short for me but, that’s roughly where I’d like to be 10years from now but, God could change it all. I just have to stay believing that it’ll all work out for my good. (Romans 8:28)

Love,
Career Oriented A
X

Day 1 Current relationship status. Discuss this single life.

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I have a feeling people are interested in my reply to this question only because I always write about ‘my love’. Hmmmm. Now who exactly is my love? Some guy I’m obsessed with or my boyfriend? Is A in a relationship? Does she even fancy the idea of commitment? Does she have the qualities of a girlfriend? Does she have potential suitors? Is she a victim of unrequited love? Is she too unattractive to captivate the attention of any of the boys she has encountered? Is she a lesbian? Is she really a girl?! Why am I talking about myself in third person? Omg omg I know something that you don’t know. Unfortunately, you’ll find out in the next few paragraphs so, you’ll know exactly what I know and, this wouldn’t be fun anymore 😦

I had to glance up at the title again to be sure that this post actually answers the question. I happen to be an expert at going off point in almost everything I write. Essays, blog posts, cards, even when I’m speaking. Funny enough, I’m beginning to go off point again.

So I’m on my 3rd paragraph and I haven’t answered the question *glances back at title*. I happen to have a distinct relationship status. For normal people, you’re either in a relationship or single . To me, that sounds like ‘you’re either in bondage or lonely and miserable’ and, I am neither to be honest. I’m actually a bit of both which makes me special. Not crazy or weird but, special. I am in a relationship with someone who isn’t really aware of our relationship. This way, I’m off the market but, I’m not in bondage. At the same time, I’m semi-single. I’ve got the beeeeest of both worlds jenebdksjsu then I rock out the show. Yurrrr. All you have to do is like someone that’ll never return the favour. It’s simple really.

I have a feeling a lot of you have now concluded that I am a nut case and, I don’t blame you. However, if you knew me you’d know that I’ve been yarning dust in the past 3 paragraphs. I am single and ready to mingle with all the beautiful boys in the world.

This is the part where I’m supposed to discuss the single life and the reason why I made up all that nonsense in the beginning. I’ll tell you a secret now…I have been single all my life so, I can’t really “discuss the single life”.But, shh don’t tell anyone cause more often than none, it pushes boys away. No one wants a jjc(Johnny just come AKA a learner) in the relationship sector. It’s almost like making a fresh graduate the MD of a company.I’ll just tell you about my life. An example of the single life.

Being single allows me to do anything I like, whenever I like and with whoever I like. I can shake hands with whichever boy I want to(I don’t really mean shake hands btw ^_^), go partying in the middle of the night and ‘gnird’ all the boys in the club if I fancy, Flirt flirt flirt. It’s ridiculously fun. Whoo! Being single removes the guilt that is almost always present when talking to people of the opposite sex. I could have a few boys on my case, probably leading them on but, still flirting with another hot mixed race boy and, I wouldn’t feel guilty one bit. The plan is to have as many ‘runzers’ as possible. I’m single right? Why limit yourself to like only one boy? Why flirt with only one boy? Why go out on dates with only one boy? Why kiss only one frog? Why restrict yourself? People in relationships believe that single people are having the time of their lives so, we might as well make it seem like we are. Go single people! We are great, oh yes we are! Me, I’m having fun sha I don’t know about the rest of you.

However great I have made my single life seem, there will always be setbacks, cons, disadvantages. The thing is, I love my single life up until I start liking someone. It is only then that I begin to notice all the cute couples on the street and long for my very own emotional rock. Someone to lean on when I’m weak. Someone that’s more than just my friend. Someone to call whenever I like. Someone I can kiss any and everywhere. Someone to call me his. Someone I can call mine. Someone I am sure about. Someone that makes me laugh when I’m miserable. Someone I want to talk to about all my never ending problems. Someone older to always look out for me. Someone to help me grow emotionally. Someone smart that could bestow upon me his knowledge. Someone that I’ll be scared of losing. Someone that knows me and loves me regardless. Someone I know and love unconditionally. Someone, anyone. I am all for love. In love with the idea of being in love. It’s crazy really. I’ll begin to want dates and deep conversations and flowers and chocolates and strawberries and champagne and slow music and bare skin contact and hot baths and rose petals and hardcore mmmmm. I’m starting to fantasise now.

The point is, despite the fact that I have failed to experience life in a relationship, I still yearn for the romantic gestures. I long for the life of commitment. I dream of arguing with the love of my life and running back to apologise for fear of losing him. I want to leave my single life behind but, I am overcome by a fear of the unknown. I don’t know if that’s why the single people reading my blog are still single, I can only speak for myself. I also don’t know if I have answered the question in the title. I doubt that would shock any of my frequent readers though. But, I have managed to summarize how my single life really is. I cannot compare or contrast between the single life and life in a relationship because I’ve never had the nerve to jump over that single-relationship fence or, walked through the doors of love and commitment. I’m not sure if that’s bad or not. I mean, I’m not 20 yet so there’s still plenty of time to look for husband (I’m beginning to sound like my mum with all this husband talk). The single life is the only life I’ve ever known, it’s what I’m used to so,can’t let it bother me.

Now, I have to work on ‘Day two’ hmph

Love,
Ever Single A
X