The walls are echoing and everybody’s asking. What do you see in him? Why would you stoop so low? But they don’t understand. They fail to reason. Fail to think. Fail to ridicule such mystery that the world has presented before us. They don’t know that beneath our elastic germ ridden skin, tough contracting muscles and through calcium filled bones as strong as concrete lies something that science cannot explain. Something that psychologists may refer to as ‘the subconscious’. Something that Christians call ‘the soul’. Beneath the physical form and all of what society considers attractive lies something greater. They don’t understand. From the beginning of the world, my world, I was pushed into thinking that people were created to be judged by others based on their outer appearance. The way they talked, walked, dressed. Everything else was more than unnecessary. Character was not taken into consideration. I was pushed to be a part of the society and that’s what I grew up to become. One of them. But they don’t understand that the meanest demons are transported to earth and covered up with muscles so firm, a face so well structured, lips as soft as petals, eyes so evil yet, unbelievably attractive. They don’t understand. In the past I’ve been hurt and tormented and betrayed by the physically beautiful but spiritually repugnant beings. Everyone yearns for a flamboyant partner just so the world can see. So they can show off. But life isn’t so and they don’t understand.
They don’t understand that beyond what they consider ugly lies a beautiful soul waiting its equal to nurture it, protect it, encourage it to shine so bright. It’s something so fragile. Something that needs attention but, they don’t understand. What do you see in him? You’re too pretty for such. Pretty? What exactly is pretty? I live in a world where the meanings of words are dynamic depending on the context, the situation, the user. So please remind me once more what it means to be ’too pretty’ for someone. Because I believe in beauty and I’m not talking about the simple artistic display which we all refer to as faces in this day. I’m not talking about the way said person walks or runs or flies. I’m talking about character; the only real way to differentiate between the mindless zombies that roam the earth(humans). I’m talking about tone; the amplitude which he chooses to speak in and the softness of his carefully selected words. I’m talking about compassion; sympathizing with others and making sure everyone else is comfortable. I’m talking about aura; the way he moves, his well calculated steps all in attempt to avoid bumping into people. I’m talking about the curve on ones’ lips; I believe the English word is ‘smile’. Somehow, the spirit has deciphered a way to communicate with the outside world without having to speak; the warmth that radiates from just one smile; the good intentions, the will to make others happy. I’m talking about the simple things but, they don’t understand because all the attention is fixated on ones’ outward appearance.
I’ve found beauty in the midst of all the ugliness but, they refuse to understand. Can you not see that beauty only evades the real beast in people? ‘The beautiful beast in me’ a confused girl once said. I failed to comprehend at the time but, now I do. Regardless of how one may look, I’m ready to give it a chance. I’m ready to discover the beauty that lies within this abandoned old book. What happened to ‘Never judge a book by its cover’? What happened to ‘dare to be different’? What happened to humanity? What happened to us? What happened to ‘Vanity upon vanities, all is vanity’? I’m beginning to quote bible verses and they don’t understand why because they’ve become duplicates of the society that I fear. The society that I am constantly fleeing from. The society which sets rules and standards that even its members cannot achieve. They have become a part of the society that will never understand.
They don’t understand why I hold hands with social rejects or choose to converse with facially impaired people. They don’t understand that beauty is in the eye of the beholder but character stands as a universal indicator. They don’t understand that our physical form will eventually fade and then, we’ll have nothing to display except our humanity. I’m sat in my own little corner being bombarded with questions. Tormented by the choices I’ve made. Judged based on my decision to look beyond the physical. I’m beginning to question myself too. ‘He’s nothing but different’ different different different different . What do you see in him? What do I see in him? Don’t you mean what do I see ON him? His nose? lips? eyes? teeth? Is he attractive? Then everywhere goes silent. The silence darkens my vision and my line of thoughts. For some reason, I love him. They don’t understand this phenomenon and neither do I.
Love,
A
x
Akunna Ezekwem 